Never Bet Against the Dynamic Duo
by Z.A.G
Summary: Leon is stuck going through a bet. When all is said and done, he'll remember, forever, that he should not bet against Yuffie and Riku. He thought he hated this holiday before, this goes far beyond it.


The fanfic, is based off of an RP or two that has been done at Debeo Memoria. I took a few ideas and twisted them into my own little one-shot fanfic. Most of Debeo will know what RP I'm talking about heh heh heh. This is Bert's going away fanfic. I hope she enjoys it. Heeeheehee

Disclaimer- I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

It was the most ridiculous holiday he's ever had the displeasure of putting up with. Watching others color eggs and have an egg hunt is one thing. He can put up with Yuffie high off all the holiday chocolate. He can even put up with being the one forced to hide the eggs before the hunt since he refuses to participate in any other way.

But this…

This was taking one giant step too far. It was a shove off a Cliffside with no caution signs, and the drop throws your stomach up to your throat. When you're just about to hit bottom, you stop and get tossed into the air again for one more spin.

In no shape, size, or form did he see the joy in this. Nor did he have that warm happy feeling that was promised to him, like a sugar coated candy. Because that's what he is. One big shiny, sucker. No sir, Leon was not a happy costumer, not at all.

The small of old body sweat was a constant reminder that something was not clean. It was that, or something crawled in and possibly died. His neck's already going sore from the extra weight on his head. His felt clumsy holding the basket for his fingers could not grip through the barrier surrounding him from the outside world.

Yep, you've guessed it folks. Leon's a bunny. A. Great. Big. Fat. Fluffy. Fucking Easter bunny. And how did someone such as he ever get suckered into such a thing? It all started with a game of poker between him, Yuffie and Riku.

"This is degrading…" Leon commented to himself as he looked down at his basket of goodies through the screen eyes. One of his fluffy white ears dropped down in front of his eyes, robbing him of his sights.

"Don't worry, I'll get it for you!" Came the all too pleased voice of Riku as he walked up to him. His hands darted up and grabbed the ear before positioning it back up on top of the costume's head.

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?" The annoyance in Leon's voice, could clearing be picked up by Riku, even though the gunblader's voice was muffled through the costume.

"Because you're not one to cower out of a bet."

"And why are you here?"

"To make sure you DON'T cower out of the bet." Riku answered before reached around the costume's back and patting it on the back, "Now come on, the kiddies are waiting for you."

Leon felt his eye twitch but said nothing as he began walking down the streets in Radiant Garden. All he had to do was had out some candy to some kids, and then the bet would be over, and he could get out of this damned thing.

"No, no, no." Riku called out. He slapped his forehead before shaking his head. He sighed before walking up to Leon's side and grabbing his arm to make him stop. "You have to _hop_… you know… like… Jack the Easter Bunny."

"What the hell is that?" Leon questioned in confusion.

Riku raised his head up and scratched his chin in thought, "Actually… I don't know… I don't know if that's the correct name either… Well anyways… Yuffie was generous enough to show me, just in case you didn't know."

"Yippee." Came Leon's flat reply.

"Right." Riku said ignoring Leon's lack of enthusiasm. "So I'll demonstrate. Raise your hands up, bend your knees, and jump basically." Riku demonstrated what he was saying. He knelt, bent his forearms up, and hopped a few times in front of Leon. He glanced over his shoulder back at Leon as he said, "And make sure you wiggle that tail of yours. Simple procedure." Riku demonstrated this as well. He raised his butt more into the air, and shook it a few times.

Leon stared at his ass a few moments, imagining a big white poofy tail where his tailbone is. He wish Riku had one, just so he could have the satisfaction of tearing it off and jamming it straight down his throat.

Leon raised an eyebrow from with in the costume, "Did you just slap yourself?"

"Well… you were starring at my ass for so long, I figured you were waiting for me to do something. No?"

"Right…"

"So you were?"

"No."

"No you weren't starring at my ass, or no you weren't expecting me to do something?"

"Riku?"

"Yes?"

"…Shut up."

Fortunately for Leon, Riku did as he was told. Leon attempting one hop, though he was hesitant at first; he hopped, and stumbled the rest of the way. The right ear fell into his eyes once more. And he punched it with one of his bunny hands, hitting it back onto his head. "I'm not hopping."

Riku held a hand across his lips to stifle his laughter, "Yeah… you aren't too good at it."

"Riku?"

"Yes?"

"…Shut up."

"Okay."

Leon carried the basket of chocolate like a flower girl selling her basket of flowers would. His stepped as normally as he could in the costume, but it made the bunny costume walk like a penguin would. One would imagine that if you pushed him over that he could slide on his stomach like a penguin as well.

Regardless on how he looks while walking, he was getting closer to the children; he could hear them just around the corner. Riku followed behind him just a few feet back. When he cut the corner, his eyes landed on a group of kids that couldn't be any older than five. They all froze in what they were doing, and stared at him. Leon stopped walking and stared right back, all was silent.

One little girl slowly raised her hand and pointed at Leon, her mouth opening up ever so slightly before she cried out in excitement. "Bunny!" She cheered.

Like a trigger all the kids started laughing and cheering as they raced towards a very nervous Leon. The gunblader reached to the basket with his other hand, and managed to get a few chocolate pieces into his paws as they raced towards him, "I have some—_shit!" _

The basket flew into the air, and all its contents were scattered about the ground while Leon was on his back with kids literally crawling all over him like insects. They petted, poked, stroked, and tugged him from every direction. Riku's laughter could be heard just a few feet away, and Leon didn't doubt that Riku was on his back too, but for another reason.

To his credit, Leon managed to get back onto his feet without killing any of the kids in the process. Just because he was no longer on the ground, didn't mean it would stop the kids. He tried asking them nicely not to touch him, but they didn't seem to listen very well. He smacked the fluffy white ear obstructing his view once more.

He had the strange impression that there was someone tugging at his backside. And upon investigation, he found out why. A little girl was tugging on his poofy white tail. He slapped her hand away, but that only resulted in not only knocking her hand away, but ripping his tail off. Apparently it was just glued on. The little girl stared wide eyed at the white tail in her hand then stared up at Leon. Her eyes began to water and her lips began to tremble.

"Please no…" Leon asked, "It's fine… see." Leon assured before grabbing the tail. He smacked it on his backside, hoping it would stick once more. No such luck, it just rolled off and fell to the ground. The little girl started crying.

Leon let out a breath and hunched forward, causing the ear to fall into his eyes once more. The gunblader began to growl dangerously, which caused the kids back away. Suddenly he lashed out, grabbing at the ear, and pulling on it. Thinking the rabbit had gone completely insane, the frightened kids quickly ran off screaming while Leon attempted to tear the ear off completely.

Having lost all patience, or care for the bet, he grabbed both ears, pulled them in opposite directions and tore them apart, as well as the rest of the costume. Leaving him standing there, in the middle of the street, without the costume on. Quickly he grabbed the basket to cover himself.

Riku sat up and stared at him wide eyed, "Leon… why are you naked?"

"It's a furnace in that costume."

Riku let out a chuckle and turned away before he began walking away, tossing one last comment out, "I see you enjoyed all that rubbing they were giving you. You dirty, dirty man."

Mwahahaha! Sorry, that's it folks. So how'd ya'll like it?


End file.
